CROSS RACIAL RELATIONSHIPS: DEALING WITH EXPECTATIONS AND JUDGMENTS FROM FAMILY, FRIENDS AND SOCIETY

CROSS RACIAL RELATIONSHIPS / "MIXED RACE DATING" AND MIXED RACE MARRIAGES: Black woman - white man and/or Black man - white woman.

Inter-racial / Mixed-race, Trans-racial or Cross racial relationships are among the most challenging relationships you may find yourself in. The couple involved might be able to deal with the fact that they are of different races; but in most cases, society is still not accommodative of mixed-race relationships / interracial dating and marrying. Most often than not, you’ll find some unimpressed, even disgusted, family members in at least one of the pair’s families. These issues may put a lot of unnecessary pressure and stress on the couple involved.

We cannot ignore the fact that love knows no colour nor boundaries. Infact, it is through ‘being different’ that love can be genuinely validated and proven. It is much easier to love someone of the same race, but it is challenging to love someone of a different race and/or culture, and that in its own must take a daring personality. That, in its own should makes cross racial or inter-racial relationships much more special.

I don’t think people just get into mixed-race relationships because they love creating controversy or because they want to be different. They obviously feel something for each other, something that is deeper than the threat of pain from all the prejudice they are likely to be faced with. Their love for each other outweighs all the possible obstacles and discrimination the world puts on mixed race/cross racial relationships.

The positive side of cross racial or interracial relationships: there are benefits to "black and white" relationships

The positive side/the pros of cross racial or interracial relationships: there are benefits/advantages to "black and white" relationships

When you look at it, there are more benefits to cross racial relationships than there are with same race ones. They are potentially much more fun and educational. I mean what could be better than getting into another race/people’s backgrounds, culture and customs than through someone you love?

It can be stimulating and those involved won’t ever have to make ignorant assumptions or generalizations about the other race. They will be better equipped to associate with people from different backgrounds and much more willing to learn about people’s cultures. That makes them more sociable and likeable because human beings by nature like to know that they are understood and respected.

Dealing with unconvinced/unimpressed, even disgusted parents and/or family members: most of us already know how our parents and/or families feel about cross-racial relationships in general; so we are informed well ahead of time. You’d know for instance that your Father is inflexible and could even be called a racist and would therefore never have one of his children involved with someone of a different race, no matter what race it is. If that is the case, you may want to prepare them as best you can, for the ‘shock’. Ask your dad these questions:

1. What are his wishes for you in your relationship / marriage

2. How badly does he want those things for you?

3. Then tell him your wishes and how much those things mean to you when it comes to your choice of a long-term partner or spouse.

4. Given the requirements, would it matter to you or your dad who qualifies as the best partner?

4. What if the person was not good looking, well-educated or well-off, for example - would that matter to you or your dad?

5. What if there was only a single person that could provide his wishes for you; provide your wishes and make you happier than you’ve ever been?

6. Would he accept that person?

7. What if that person was from a different cultural or religious background? Different race?

Then explain to your dad that your requirements in a partner are very important and they don't include external features like beauty (if that is the case), or skin colour. To find a 'perferct partner' you have to cast your net wider, within reason.

He must look at your interests first. If he really wants the best for you, then he must be willing to accept the person who, in your mind, will give you that best. Why make a fuss about the gift wrap when it contains your most desired possession; your idea of the perfect gift? Never miss out on a blessing because it is not packaged the way that you expected.

My advice regarding mixed-race marriages: provided you are not doing anything immoral, don’t be confused by colour. Diversity is beautiful and without it, life would be dull, wouldn’t it?

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